


Maybe on Earth as it is in Heaven

by Laurincia



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Redemption, There's also Claire's new husband but he doesn't have a name
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-27 06:29:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15018683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurincia/pseuds/Laurincia
Summary: He had never remembered when it really started. Perhaps during the Ebola epidemic, but Olivier’s mind had started to wander. Not like the type where you just sit and think about the world, but the type where you question every fiber of your being, digging deep into yourself to bring up and examine everything that you wanted to keep hidden, from yourself or other people. He couldn’t help but think, maybe things would be less problematic and troublesome if he wasn’t a part of the equation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I fucking love Lion and decided to write this because I need more wholesome Lion content and if no one is going to make any, I'll do it my fuckin self  
> Also the summary is prone to change because I suck at those
> 
> There will also indeed be a pairing layer on but tis a secret ;))

He had never remembered when it really started. Perhaps during the Ebola epidemic, but Olivier’s mind had started to wander. Not like the type where you just sit and think about the world, but the type where you question every fiber of your being, digging deep into yourself to dig up and examine everything that you wanted to keep hidden, from yourself or other people. He couldn’t help but think, maybe things would be less problematic and troublesome if he wasn’t a part of the equation. 

 

He had always been an outcast, no matter how hard he tried to fit in. So he stopped trying altogether. He went against his parent's expectations, being the polar opposite of everything they wanted him to be. Every night, Olivier went home after a night of partying, his parents would always say that it was the last straw, to sober up and leave the next morning. They never meant it, only saying it as a warning, always giving him another chance time and time again. But the last straw was when he got Claire pregnant. They kicked him out that night after Olivier pushed her for an abortion. A few nights later, he got into a car crash, landing him in the hospital with a few broken bones and a concussion. The doctors kept preaching about how he was lucky to be alive, how he should have died. They didn’t mention his alarmingly high blood-alcohol count. 

 

Eighteen, and nearly homeless. No one wanted to spare a penny, all saying he was young, that he could find a job, that he should go back to his parents and not live on the streets. Eighteen, nearly homeless, and thousands of dollars in medical debt. Olivier didn’t have much of a choice and made his way to the nearest recruitment center for one last chance.

 

During the grueling training cut out for him in boot camp, Olivier had met Bertrand, the Catholic Chaplain of their platoon. Everyone quickly grew tired of his constant preaching, but Olivier never really minded it. It gave him a firm hold on reality while going through training, focusing on the empty words that Bertrand spouted instead of the throbbing in his muscles and every part of his mind screaming at him to stop and rest. During their free time, Bertrand would always try to make small talk with everyone, but he always spent more time on Olivier, only saying that it was because he seemed troubled. Olivier eventually grew tired of Bertrand’s prodding and answered all his questions, spilling his guts. He told the chaplain about everything, about his blatant refusal to go along with his parents' grand plan for him, all the partying, the crash, and even Claire. 

“Do you know how she is as of now?” Bertrand asked.

Olivier shook his head and pushed around his food with his plastic fork. 

“Would you like to see her again someday?” Bertrand asked quietly. 

Olivier stopped and turned to look at Bertrand with disbelief but quickly shifted his expression back to neutral. “Would she even want to see me?” He scoffed in response, picking up his mug of tea to take a sip. He could see Bertrand shrug from his peripheral vision. 

“If you do truly regret your actions, maybe you could send her some money to help raise the child,” Bertrand suggested. “Who knows, I can try to arrange a meeting for you two. God knows you won’t get far in life if you don’t come to terms with your demons.” And with that, Bertrand got up off the bench and placed a hand on Olivier’s shoulder as a sign of comfort before walking off to another table. 

 

A few days later, Bertrand returned to his table after a long run through the forest with a wide smile on his face. “She agreed,” was all he said. Olivier didn’t know how to feel or what emotion to show, there was excitement, fear, resentment, anxiety, doubt, a whole incomprehensible amount of emotion that flooded him all at once. He allowed himself to crack a small smile and nod, thanking Bertrand quietly. They would meet again after nearly a year after Olivier pressured Claire to get an abortion. Words could not describe the guilt he had felt years later. 

 

Bertrand had told Olivier to go the park nearest to Alexis’ school after they got dismissed, and sat on the nearest bench, waiting for Claire and her son. He watched as families walked past them, parents always holding their child’s hand and looking at them with loving eyes as they asked about their day, leading them home. Olivier leaned back on the bench folding his hands in his lap and sighed, waiting. 

Almost everyone had cleared out the school and Olivier started to doubt himself, wondering if the idea of meeting him after nearly a year was just that repulsive to Claire that she would bail out. He started to tap his thigh, a bad habit he had gained while going through heavy withdrawals and even just doing drugs. But eventually, Claire arrived, with Alexis trailing behind her quietly. Her expression was stern but it was obvious she was trying not to show anger around Alexis. Olivier did his best to keep a neutral expression and stood up, giving Claire a small smile, quickly glancing over at Alexis. The small child hid behind his mother, staring up at Olivier. Taking a deep breath, Olivier greeted Claire with a ‘bonjour.’ Responding with a nod, Claire placed her hands on Alexis’ shoulders and knelt down to be at eye level with the child, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. At this point,  Alexis was worried. “Mama, who’s that?” He asked quietly. 

Sighing, Claire smiled sadly. “Go play,” she told Alexis. He cocked his head to the side and looked confused, but ran to the playground behind him nonetheless. Standing back up, Claire turned to look at Olivier, now free to do and say whatever without the having to be worried about her child’s reactions. “What the fuck do you want?” She asked, crossing her arms. There was a shiny new diamond ring on her ring finger. She was going to get married. 

Olivier’s hands went into his pockets and he ran his thumb over the opening, clenching and unclenching his hands. “I-I wanted to say that I’m sorry,” he muttered. 

Claire scoffed, laughing out loud. “Really? You say that after leaving me for three years to fend for myself with a child? You’re unbelievable.” 

Olivier’s heart started racing as he repeatedly tapped his thumb against the pocket. “I take it you won’t believe or forgive me?” Remorse showed in his expression. 

Taking a deep breath, Claire relaxed her posture, softening her expression. “I really did love you. You don’t know how much it hurt to know that things changed that drastically as soon as I got pregnant. You wanted  _ our _ child dead!” She gestured over to Alexis playing with a little girl, huffing when he went down the slide with a laugh. Lowering her voice, she whispered, “he is the spitting image of you, and you wanted him gone.”

“I do regret it, you know? It -  _ I _ , was selfish,” he laughing himself and reworded. He shifted his weight on his right leg and stared into Claire's eyes. 

“You know I can't just forgive you that easily.” 

“I don't expect you to, but I  _ will  _ make things right,” promised Olivier. “Does he know?”

Claire nodded. “Not that much.”

“Will I ever see him again?”

Claire was silent, thinking. “When you prove yourself.”

Nodding, Olivier let out the breath he had been holding and glanced over at Alexis as he ran up the small steps to get to the highest platform and grabbed onto the railing, peering over the edge to talk to the girl that was standing on the pebbles on the ground below. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this chapter but I'm too lazy to rewrite sooooo

As much as Olivier wanted to talk with Alexis while he still had the chance, he didn’t know how. The kid was weary, obviously seeing resemblances and similarities between himself and Olivier, from facial structure to eye color. By the time Olivier got back to the base, he was broken. He remembered the good times he had with Claire all those years ago. Although the meeting had given him a newer purpose, to repair the long broken bridge between the two, Olivier just didn’t know how. The second Olivier walked through the doors, Bertrand had gone up to him with his arms outspread and a hopeful look on his face. “Well? How did it go?” He asked, placing his hand on Olivier’s shoulder, leading him to the lounge. 

“I have a chance,” was all Olivier responded with. 

Bertrand’s mood instantly brightened some more - if that was even possible - and started congratulating Olivier rather loudly. 

Groaning, Olivier lightly pushed the chaplain away, shushing him. “I have a possibility of being able to reconcile with my ex and get to know my biological son more, I’m not getting married,” he covered Bertrand’s mouth with his hand. 

Removing his hand, Bertrand gave the taller a knowing look and smirked. “Regardless, you still have a chance. You can do this.”

 

Olivier got another opportunity to see Claire and Alexis after another year when Alexis would ‘graduate’ from his school. He silently entered the small gym where other parents were seated in fold-up chairs stared at the stage, clapping loudly and proudly as their child walked across the stage to get a piece of paper saying they survived preschool. Three more children later, and it was Alexis’ turn, and Olivier didn’t clap, feeling that it would be too strange. Claire and some other man had stood up off their seats when Alexis’ name was called, cheering loudly as he scampered across the stage to take the paper and hug the teacher handing them out, before leaving out the opposite side to run to Claire and the man, hugging them both. Olivier stayed standing by the doors until the ceremony was over and families started filling out the gym. All linking hands, Alexis, Claire, and whom Olivier could only assume was Claire’s fiance stopped in front of him. The child had remembered him from a year ago, waving to him timidly. 

Returning the greeting with a smile, Olivier turned to look at Claire, shifting his expression to neutral, even a little bit somber. “Hello again,” Claire started. “You made it.” 

Nodding, Olivier apologized for being late and eyed the man holding Claire’s hand. 

She hummed and removed her hand from his to pat him on the arm. “This is Jean.” She moved her hand to gesture at Olivier. “Olivier,” she said his name. He silently breathed out a sigh of relief when there was no sign of malice or hatred in her tone of voice. 

Jean stiffly held out a hand and Olivier accepted the gesture, shaking the other’s hand. The sheer awkwardness of the situation was suffocating and tense, causing Olivier’s anxiety to spike. Internally, he was screaming for something to break the silence. 

Alexis tugged on the hem of his mother’s shirt, looking up at her. “Mama, I'm hungry,” he whispered. 

“Let’s go get food then,” she smiled to Alexis. “Did you need something?” She asked Olivier. 

Reaching into his back pocket, Olivier pulled out a folded up check, handing it to Claire with a sad smile. “The least I can do,” he said, turning to leave without sparing a glance back. Maybe one day he’ll gain the courage to talk be able to talk to his son. But for now, giving them as much money as he can afford to is the best he can do. 

 

Three days later, Olivier had reached an all-time low, not eating, barely sleeping. Day in and day out, his superiors had told him to get his shit together, lest he loses his rank. Bertrand had told Olivier to meet him in the nearby church one day, patiently waiting for Olivier to arrive, sitting down in the third row of pews. Olivier arrived a few seconds later, looking exhausted. He sat down next to Bertrand and leaned back in the seat, staring ahead dead-eyed. 

“You’re going to lose your rank if you keep this act up,” Bertrand started. “Everything you worked hard for, redemption, a purpose, it’ll all be thrown out. What is the source?”

Olivier tapped his fingers against the white mug, turning to look at Bertrand. “Seeing them together. With my son. I-it made me realize I was being selfish. I asked Claire to do something unimaginable for my own sake, and… I could barely look my own son in the eyes, knowing that I wanted him killed because it would have benefited me.” Olivier paused to take a deep breath. “I didn’t think about what Claire wanted, what would have happened to her because I only cared for myself.” 

The atmosphere was heavy and tense as Bertrand stayed silent to process everything. A minute had passed before he finally said something. “I know you’ve probably heard this a million times before, but you can’t dwell on the past. Nothing will change with you killing yourself over by overthinking the situation and things you could have done better. You are here now and you have to focus on the present and the future to better things and yourself.” 

Olivier scoffed but he knew Bertrand was right. Everyone that’s ever said something along the same lines had always been right, but he never listened. 

 

Alongside being a pseudo-therapist, Bertrand made for a good friend and just a source of hope altogether. Olivier had slowly but surely managed to claw his way out of his depressive episode, starting to dedicate his free time to prove himself to Claire while staying in Alexis’ life, along with taking time to help Bertrand volunteer at the nearby church. 

 

A few years later, Olivier had been accepted into the GIGN as a biohazard expert, and in 2012, his first real mission had been assigned. Contain the outbreak of yellow fever in Sudan. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OwO? What's this? An update that didn't take a million years?  
> 

During his time in the GIGN before the yellow fever outbreak, he had made some friends. Emanuelle was nice, being one of the many engineers of the group that always aimed for their technology to improve. Then there was Gilles, one of the only people that had truly bothered to get to know Olivier more, and one of the only people he ever really considered a true friend. Gustave and Julien came next, the latter of which, never truly bothered too much with Olivier. They’ve had their fair share of interactions, but they were nothing more than simple associates. Gustave, on the other hand, clashed quite often with Olivier. Their differing personalities were bound to cause trouble but no one said anything as long as it didn’t leak out onto missions. Olivier could always see a look of pity from Julien every time they got into an argument. He never faulted Emanuelle or Julien for picking Gustave over him.

 

The outbreak of Yellow Fever swept the nation of Sudan along with a wave of hysteria. He kept steady patrols to maintain and hold perimeters for quarantine zones, ignoring any feelings and human emotions, only following the orders he was given. He was put in charge of keeping a team of field investigators safe and undisturbed. A hysterical, angry and frightened mob had tried desperately to push through, screaming and demanding answers and miracles, pushing against the wire fences as security tried desperately to keep them back and out. One looked back at Olivier with an expression begging him to do something. He took a deep breath, allowing the sounds screaming and crying to fade out, and yelled out for everyone to get lost.  

He was told a few days later that the locals started calling him “Lion.”

 

-

 

When Olivier got back to the base, the first thing he did was continually thank Emanuelle for the drone and offer a few upgrade options, like making it more compact and possible foldable for easier storage and movement. She said she'd do her best to make it backpack sized and got to work. He then went into his room, taking out a checkbook and pen to send another check to Claire, even writing a small letter about his adventure about his adventure to Sudan. Maybe Alexis would appreciate the less chaotic version of how he gave some civilians minor trauma with his voice. He finished the letter, signed the check, put them in an envelope to mail, putting it in his pocket.

 

He took the time to wind down and relax in his room for a while before going to the mailboxes, pushing the envelope through one of the many slots and then to the mess hall for dinner. Gilles had called Olivier over to him when he saw the other man enter. “How was it?” Gilles asked when Olivier stood in the line next to him.

“Mass hysteria  Civilians were paranoid and desperate. There was a safety concern for the research team, with how many civilians were crowding around the teams,” Olivier murmured.

“I hear you got yourself a nickname,” Gilles teased in a sing-songy tone.

Groaning, Olivier lightly pushed Gilles as they moved forward.

“I just did what I was told and scared them a little.”

Gilles chuckled. “You’ll make a fine lion.”

  


Olivier was asked to lead the 2nd Dragoons into West Africa in 2015 to aid medical personnel in fighting the Ebola epidemic. His explicit orders were to minimize the contamination and to keep as many people outside of body bags as possible. Regardless of the orders being somewhat of an oxymoron, Olivier did his best to uphold those standards.

He prioritized minimizing the contamination as more and more people started coming in. They were quarantined in a secluded area and running dangerously low on medical supplies. He planned a few people take trucks and drive to the nearest medical center miles away. Gustave had insisted they take some citizens along but Olivier refused. If Olivier allowed it, it would jeopardize the medical staff even more. He stood his ground and sent out three trucks in the night to come back at dawn.

Things started changing for the worst the second they came back. Bill, one of Gustave’s friends in their medial tent had started exhibiting symptoms. The second Olivier noticed, he put all the medical staff on lockdown and into quarantine the majority were fine, underwent a sterilization process, checkups, and went back to work. Five were infected.

 

The five were monitored constantly by assigned staff while others continued their jobs treating civilians. Gustave didn’t approve of Olivier’s orders, voicing his concern and anger about the staff that was infected. Olivier had reassured him multiple times that they were fine, they were getting treated. They succumbed to the virus three days later.

Gustave stormed into Olivier’s makeshift office, gritting his teeth. “You've caged them like animals! You could have done something to save them! You have no remorse for human lives!” The doctor paused and took a breath. “They should have never put you in charge of this mission, you don’t have the empathy for it.”

Olivier knew, but he had his orders. He stood up out of his chair, standing tall and unwavering, keeping his expression stone cold regardless of how much those words shot through his heart. He whispered, “your humanitarianism is a liability.”

 

-  


Back at the base, tensions were still high. Gustave didn’t acknowledge Olivier’s existence and kept doing his own thing, leaving the other man to ‘mope.’ There was a knock on his door later at night, regardless of the door already being half open. Julien peeked around, looking worried. “May I come in?” He whispered. Olivier nodded, sitting up on his bed, staring blankly ahead at nothing in particular. Julien moved slowly, pushing the door partly closed before taking a spot next to Olivier but keeping his distance. “What happened?” He asked softly.

His resolve was breaking. The words came rushing back as a painful torrent swirling around his brain as they echoed. He clenched his fists, balling up his sheets. _“Emotionless. Asshole. Inhuman.”_

Julien could see Olivier’s composure breaking but didn’t push.

A minute passed.

“Do you know why I never stray from my orders,” Olivier asked.

Julien shook his head

“I used to be like Gustave. When I first joined the forces, I tried to be a hero. I went against orders to try to save a civilian. In doing so, I endangered many more.” Olivier forced himself to relax and take a deep breath as his voice started shaking. “Some died.” He quickly glanced over at Julien. “I constantly went against my parent’s wishes.” Olivier could see the pieces clicking together in Julien’s head.  _He understood_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note - 2/8/2019 There were some errors that I didn't notice that slipped through the cracks, they've since been fixed (I think I got all of them)   
> I will do my best to update soon


End file.
